It's gonna cost how much to print it?

Friday, December 14, 2012


Now, I'm a spender. That's pretty much the reason I work. I can't stop spending money. On the other hand, BJ is not. We are polar opposites in this regard. He would much rather watch the money sit in our bank account and go unspent. Not me! I LOVE to spend it. I love vacations and new clothes, toys, books, eating out, new cars. You name it, I'm cool with spending money on it. The only problem I see with my spending habit is that occasionally I have buyer's remorse. When purchasing things like, clothes, shoes and toys, my hasty decisions can be rectified pretty easily. I just run my crazy purchase back to the store and get my money back. Just a note: This unfortunately doesn't work with cars or self published books.

So, last night after the 9 millionth edit to my book, I decided to upload it to FedEx Office and have it printed and bound. 

In college I was the copy girl at Staples. I understand that this was over a decade ago, but honestly, did the cost of paper really go up that much? Inflation, you suck! 

After the upload, the total appeared, now mind you, I'm not usually super concerned about the cost of things, especially if I think they're a necessity. (Think adorable glitter ballet flats from the Gap). I was certain the paper copy of my book was not only a necessity, it was a must. Yet after seeing the total that was more than half my car payment, I nearly fell out of my chair. 

$300!!! For what? Was it bound with diamond encrusted gold spiral bindings? Was it going to do my laundry? Would it bathe my children? Hell no!

BJ, who was on the couch trying to create a new territory for his super fun job, (turns out my geographical knowledge on the state of Michigan is pretty piss poor), also got the shock of his life when I announced the price.

BJ: Where is Flint, Michigan?
Me: Southern Michigan.
BJ: Nope, but you sounded certain. How about Traverse City?
Me: Oh, that's southern, too.
BJ: Wrong again, but you do really sound sure of yourself if that helps.
Me: At least I was in the right state.
BJ: I gave you the state.
Me: Don't make fun of me.
BJ: You had it coming.
Me: It's going to cost 300 bucks to print one copy of my book.
BJ: No.

Now, when he said, "no" I'm sure you're thinking he was saying it like, "No way. It can't be that expensive." But really what he was saying was, "No, you are not printing your book."

BJ joined me at the computer and in a few short seconds the price went from $300 for one copy to $100 for two copies.

In my days as the red shirt and khakis wearing copy girl, we only had three choices of paper. White in three different brands. Colored in three different brands. And card stock in two different brands. Nowadays there's 10,000 choices and FedEx Office, in a plan to turn a profit, selects the most expensive paper they have in stock as the default. Asses! 

Now, had BJ not been present, my printed copy might have cost me $300 and bypassed number one on my list of frivolous purchases. A non-returnable Toyota RAV4. (They will take it back, but not after they rob you blind and punch you in the stomach on the trade-in.)

I'm glad he's around even though he mocks my knowledge of the locations of cities in Michigan. I live in Illinois for craps sake!

Anyway, here it is in all its black and white glory!


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