Archive for 2013

Blog Tour...Coming Soon!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


Thank you to everyone who has offered to participate in my upcoming blog tour sponsored by Natasha is a Book Junkie . I'm so excited to be sharing my debut novel with you and I look forward to reading your reviews and whatever else you may have in store. If you have any questions regarding the tour please feel free to contact Natasha or me. Again, thank you so much for all the support!

Friday, May 3rd:
Natasha is a Book Junkie
Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews
The Risque Redhead Reads
The Book Asylum
Novel Girl

Saturday, May 4th
Book Boyfriend Reviews
I Read Indie
Reviews By Tammy and Kim
Shh, Mommy's in the Bathroom Reading
Book Bitches Blog

Sunday, May 5th 
Life of a Total Book Nerd
Devoured Words
Reality Bites! Let's Get Lost!
Novel Seduction
Books, Babes and Cheap Cabernet

Monday, May 6th
Angie's Dreamy Reads
First Class Books
Me, Bookshelf and I
Scandalous Book Blog

Tuesday, May 7th
Scandalicious Book Reviews
Little Black Book Blog
Books vs. Boys
Romance Addict Book Blog
Menage A Book

Wednesday, May 8th
Fab, Fun, Tantalizing Reads
Smardy Pants Book Blog
Sugar and Spice Book Reviews
Cristina's Book Reviews
Kindlehooked

Thursday, May 9th
Love Between the Sheets
The Consummate Reader
Read This—Hear That
Recent Reads
The Book Bellas
Swoon Worthy Books

Add a comment »

Hatin' on Snow...again

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


If you've read my previous post you know I hate snow.  But yesterday, snow and I became mortal enemies. Ok...if I'm being honest, I'm blaming snow because I'd never blame myself.

Here's how the day started, snow was supposed to start at 6:00am. So in preparation for a ridiculous commute, I crawled out of bed five minutes earlier than usual, only to find that snow, being the dick that he is, decided to sleep in...unlike me.

Snow finally made its appearance around 9:30am—right in the middle of math. Which is more fascinating, Mrs. Young and her witty comments on line plots or snow? I'll let you guess.

Driving home...not so bad, actually. Snow...we just might be friends after all. Feeling kinda smiley and a little ambitious, I decided to snow blow the driveway before BJ got home from work. How great of a wife am I? This is where snow screws with me.

I bundled up my nuggets, well, I bundled both but one stayed in the house because he's terrified of the snow blower. Big nugget goes off to roll around in the snow while I start up the snow blower. I dragged it from the garage, started it up and began to toss snow all over. It's kinda cool, until I realized I've knocked over a gas can in the garage. Yep, I spilled a gallon of gas all over the garage floor.

Big nugget comes along, persuaded me to make the biggest snowball ever, so I bailed on the gas spill. I returned later to find that the garage stunk REALLY bad and so did the whole house. I dumped some Tide on it, scrubbed it with a broom and threw a bucket of water on it. It's clean...but not really.

This is where BJ comes home. Here's the conversation:

Me: I spilled gas in the garage.

BJ: So I smell.

Me: It's not that bad. I opened all the windows.

BJ: It's 37 degrees out.

Me: What do you suggest?

BJ: I'm going to get kitty litter.

This is where BJ left and returned with kitty litter that smelled like an old lady's perfume. Gas or Jean Nate? Either way I'm getting a fucking headache.

Several hours passed and the house reeked of old lady and I couldn't handle it. Sitting on the couch watching a mass of DVR'd shows, I turned to BJ...

Me: I'm gonna need you to clean up the kitty litter.

BJ: (Insert annoyed look and a huffy breath.)

Me: Seriously. It smells.

BJ: (In mocking tone) I'm gonna need you to clean up the gas spill. I'm gonna need you to get kitty litter. I'm gonna need you to clean it up...now.

Me: I'm gonna need you to rub my boots in the kitty litter. I stepped in the gas.

I'm glad he loves me otherwise I might have found myself homeless. Although, none of this was my fault. Without the snow, I never would have knocked over the gas can.

2 Comments »

The Creation of a Cover

Sunday, February 10, 2013


When I began this whole book writing thing, I always knew I would have my friend Mick design the cover. I've known Mick for fifteen years. We met at Eastern Illinois University, which is where I met my husband. BJ and Mick were friends and so I really had no other choice than to be friends with him, too. If fifteen years ago you had asked me if Mick would be designing my book cover I would have said, No! One, because I would have said there wasn't a chance in hell I'd write a book and two, I wasn't sure Mick would ever become a productive member of society. He bar hopped, drank dollar beers at the seediest joints in town, screamed the "Rick Flair Woo" more than anyone, got one of the worst sunburns in history and jumped off his apartment balcony onto a stack of old mattresses. But in the end, he grew up, we all did. He is now an amazing father to his beautiful daughter, a great boyfriend to his girlfriend Heather, but most of all a hard-working and immensely talented graphic designer.

Back in November when we began this process, I had a pretty specific idea in my head of what I wanted. Mick worked his ass off to make it come to life. He tracked down a camera, set up a shot complete with hairsprayed shoe laces and a deck, all while sick with a nasty cold.


He put it together with my name and title and sent it over to me. I couldn't get to my computer fast enough...and this what I got... 

My first thoughts..."Come to Jesus". Not exactly what I was going for, yet he followed my instructions perfectly. Lesson one—I am NOT a graphic designer, but I still sent him a list of corrections. Second attempt...can't stop thinking about Jesus. Third attempt...still Jesus. I was pretty sure he was going to punch me in the face the next time I saw him.










After a small hiatus, I got an email from him with three totally different ideas—ones that were not created by me. They were unreal! Absolutely perfect. I narrowed it down to two and within a day, I picked my cover.






   





Mick did a beautiful job. The cover captures my story amazingly well and somehow he managed not to kill me. Please take a moment to check out Mick's website at www.bockstruck.net. Or even better contact him about designing your book cover. Thanks Mick! XO


Add a comment »

Negativity...take it or leave it?

Sunday, January 27, 2013


A couple of weeks ago I posted on my ChicagoNow blog about how sex is used to sell...well a lot of things. (Check it out here if you like.) If you have read any of my blog posts you know I'm sarcastic and most of the time I intend for my posts to be light-hearted and funny. I'm generally silly, I like things that make me laugh and most of the time the people who read what I write like a good laugh, too.

This is the first time since starting this whole blogging process that I have a received an openly negative comment. I don't like negativity and it makes sad that there are people in this world who find the need to dog on others. Here is what was said in regards to my article:
"Your assumpation that sex sells because of perversion is a little far-fetched. But I guess your noting it as such will sell your article and book, eh? By the way, that's not a push mower, it's a power rotary mower as you can see from the engine mounted atop the blade housing. Only a perverted male would know that, eh?"

Avoiding the need to call this person many vulgar names (Natalie--I'm holding back here and I know you're disappointed.), but I don't want to feed into this. Let's begin with a grammar lesson—your and you're are two different words with two entirely different meanings.  Next, the misspelling of the word assumption. Please, for the love of Pete, if you're going call me on my bullshit make sure YOUR grammar and spelling are correct. Now do you want me to answer your multiple questions or were you just being facetious? Because that's exactly what I was doing when I wrote the post. Humor, eh? Lastly, obviously I know the mower has a fucking motor on it! (That's for you, Nat.) Yet, if you notice in the picture nowhere does it say the mower is self-propelled, so hence it will take more than a slight push to move it. One more just for good measure, Hey dude, I'm guessing you clicked on my post based on the title, so who's intrigued here?

I know this won't be my last negative comment and I'll get over it. So, here's where I thank all the great people who read my blogs and like my Facebook page. Thanks for making this experience awesome. YOU'RE the reason I'll keep posting!  XOXO (I'm sure there is a mistake somewhere in this post...who wants to be the dick who can find it?)


2 Comments »

Like Me! Pleeeaaassse!

Monday, January 14, 2013


photo.PNG
Just yesterday I experienced my first "unliking". Of course, because of my mild OCD, I began obsessing over it. Did I offend someone? (I did recently post about sex on my ChicagoNow blog. Shame on me.) Did I suddenly become so unpopular that I needed to be dumped immediately? (I drop the f-bomb like a hot potato.) When did I become less entertaining? What post was it that forced this person to do the unthinkable...unlike ME! (Yep, I totally took this personally.)

I think I'm kinda likable, but I'm also ridiculously irrational.  My irrational self considered tracking down my "unliker" and demanding to know why!  I tend to do this with everything.  I'm an over-reacter, a dweller, an obsesser, but after a few minutes clarity peeks through and all is good. This incident was no different. I emailed a friend of mine who has been at this for a while and her response was very laissez faire.  "I get like two or three a day. I couldn't care less. Their loss."  Nice response, huh?  It quelled my urge to hunt the person down and scream in his/her face, but it didn't help to subside my wonder.

Who the fuck unliked me???  Old 510, don't think you're off my radar. You'll always be the one who unliked me first.

On a happy note...to all those who still "like" me, know that I LOVE every last one of you!  You have made this such a heartwarming and humbling experience. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful, supportive and caring people.  And to Dannielle (you win the prize for the most obnoxious pimping of me on your FB page), Emily, Erica (second only to Dannielle in pimping) and Natasha-I owe you more than I can express!  Thanks for believing in me!  650—shit that's a ridiculous goal, so share away! XOXO

Add a comment »

The Mint Floor Cleaner...Yep, I'm a moron.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Here it is.  It's kinda cute, right?
This year for Christmas I gifted myself the Mint Hard Floor Cleaner.  Like my old friend Roomba, it cleans your floors using the magic of GPS and batteries.  If you read my blog about Roomba, I'm sure you're wondering what the hell I am thinking.  Well, I'm thinking that I hate to wash my floors, I let my cleaning lady go when I sold my house (the sale fell through and I'm still without my wonderful Patricia) and I really wanted to see Beeker's reaction. (He does that butt in the air, head down, jump side to side thing dogs do when they want to play.)  That's better than poop.

Well, so far Mint kicks Roomba's ass.  It hasn't taken a nose dive down the stairs, it didn't get trapped under my kitchen table and if Beeks shits on the floor, hopefully Mint will clean it up. (Just kidding.)  This thing cleans like a dream!  Best $200 self given Christmas present. Ever.

And here is a picture of stupid Beeker just for fun!
Yep, he's cute, too.

Add a comment »

New Year's Resolutions...maybe?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


Time to resolve to keeping my New Year's resolutions.  This statement would definitely not be said by me.  New Year's resolutions suck, especially for someone like me.  I have no will power whatsoever.  Setting unrealistic expectations of myself are always deemed a failure.

"This year I vow to eat better."  An hour later I'll be eating cookie dough straight from the bowl.  I'll still eat half a bag of York peppermint patties for breakfast on my way to work.  And I will no doubt order Jimmy John's for lunch at least twice a week.  Why give up now?

"This year I will forego swearing in place of more appropriate language."  No fucking way!  Swears fall from my mouth like diarrhea from a butt.  I'm pretty sure I can't live without the words, dipshit, asshat, assbag, and anything that has the word douche attached to it.  If I keep this resolution I will be living the life of a third grade teacher even at home.  It's hard enough to get my shit together for eight hours a day.  The expectation to maintain it at home just might kill me.

"This year I will sensor myself."  I have a serious habit of saying the first thing that comes into my head, not to mention asking questions no one really wants the answers to.  I also get annoyed easily and it tends to show on my face immediately.  But once again, I won't stick to this. It's part of my charm.  I probably owe an advance apology to my boss.  Beth—I'm sorry, you really aren't boring, I just have no attention span.

So, in saying all this, I set one resolution last year.  It was to finish my book and on October 16, 2012 I finally didn't fail at seeing one through to the end.  Here's the kicker, I told no one about this resolution.  Maybe that's the reason I completed.  As for 2013, I have already made one resolution—I will no longer spam my personal Facebook page with postings about my book or my writing.  In saying this, I have created a Facebook page solely dedicated to my book, so anyone who blocked my personal page, you can now unblock me.  You'll go back to getting my lame posts about food, my kids and my dog.  

If you get a chance please "like" my Facebook page.  I also need to give a big thank you to Natasha at Natasha is a Book Junkie for all her help so far.  She is wonderful and if you haven't checked out her blog you need to do that NOW!  If you love to read she is your go to gal!  She hasn't led me astray yet with her book recommendations. "Like" her Facebook page, I promise, you won't be disappointed. (She isn't paying me to promote her, I just like her.)

So, I've made two resolutions this year.  One I've said out loud and one I will keep to myself.  It seems like if I do, it just might work out in the end.  Happy New Year!



Add a comment »