Archive for January 2013

Negativity...take it or leave it?

Sunday, January 27, 2013

A couple of weeks ago I posted on my ChicagoNow blog about how sex is used to sell...well a lot of things. (Check it out here if you like.) If you have read any of my blog posts you know I'm sarcastic and most of the time I intend for my posts to be light-hearted and funny. I'm generally silly, I like things that make me laugh and most of the time the people who read what I write like a good laugh, too.

This is the first time since starting this whole blogging process that I have a received an openly negative comment. I don't like negativity and it makes sad that there are people in this world who find the need to dog on others. Here is what was said in regards to my article:
"Your assumpation that sex sells because of perversion is a little far-fetched. But I guess your noting it as such will sell your article and book, eh? By the way, that's not a push mower, it's a power rotary mower as you can see from the engine mounted atop the blade housing. Only a perverted male would know that, eh?"

Avoiding the need to call this person many vulgar names (Natalie--I'm holding back here and I know you're disappointed.), but I don't want to feed into this. Let's begin with a grammar lesson—your and you're are two different words with two entirely different meanings.  Next, the misspelling of the word assumption. Please, for the love of Pete, if you're going call me on my bullshit make sure YOUR grammar and spelling are correct. Now do you want me to answer your multiple questions or were you just being facetious? Because that's exactly what I was doing when I wrote the post. Humor, eh? Lastly, obviously I know the mower has a fucking motor on it! (That's for you, Nat.) Yet, if you notice in the picture nowhere does it say the mower is self-propelled, so hence it will take more than a slight push to move it. One more just for good measure, Hey dude, I'm guessing you clicked on my post based on the title, so who's intrigued here?

I know this won't be my last negative comment and I'll get over it. So, here's where I thank all the great people who read my blogs and like my Facebook page. Thanks for making this experience awesome. YOU'RE the reason I'll keep posting!  XOXO (I'm sure there is a mistake somewhere in this post...who wants to be the dick who can find it?)


Like Me! Pleeeaaassse!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Just yesterday I experienced my first "unliking". Of course, because of my mild OCD, I began obsessing over it. Did I offend someone? (I did recently post about sex on my ChicagoNow blog. Shame on me.) Did I suddenly become so unpopular that I needed to be dumped immediately? (I drop the f-bomb like a hot potato.) When did I become less entertaining? What post was it that forced this person to do the unthinkable...unlike ME! (Yep, I totally took this personally.)

I think I'm kinda likable, but I'm also ridiculously irrational.  My irrational self considered tracking down my "unliker" and demanding to know why!  I tend to do this with everything.  I'm an over-reacter, a dweller, an obsesser, but after a few minutes clarity peeks through and all is good. This incident was no different. I emailed a friend of mine who has been at this for a while and her response was very laissez faire.  "I get like two or three a day. I couldn't care less. Their loss."  Nice response, huh?  It quelled my urge to hunt the person down and scream in his/her face, but it didn't help to subside my wonder.

Who the fuck unliked me???  Old 510, don't think you're off my radar. You'll always be the one who unliked me first.

On a happy all those who still "like" me, know that I LOVE every last one of you!  You have made this such a heartwarming and humbling experience. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful, supportive and caring people.  And to Dannielle (you win the prize for the most obnoxious pimping of me on your FB page), Emily, Erica (second only to Dannielle in pimping) and Natasha-I owe you more than I can express!  Thanks for believing in me!  650—shit that's a ridiculous goal, so share away! XOXO

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The Mint Floor Cleaner...Yep, I'm a moron.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Here it is.  It's kinda cute, right?
This year for Christmas I gifted myself the Mint Hard Floor Cleaner.  Like my old friend Roomba, it cleans your floors using the magic of GPS and batteries.  If you read my blog about Roomba, I'm sure you're wondering what the hell I am thinking.  Well, I'm thinking that I hate to wash my floors, I let my cleaning lady go when I sold my house (the sale fell through and I'm still without my wonderful Patricia) and I really wanted to see Beeker's reaction. (He does that butt in the air, head down, jump side to side thing dogs do when they want to play.)  That's better than poop.

Well, so far Mint kicks Roomba's ass.  It hasn't taken a nose dive down the stairs, it didn't get trapped under my kitchen table and if Beeks shits on the floor, hopefully Mint will clean it up. (Just kidding.)  This thing cleans like a dream!  Best $200 self given Christmas present. Ever.

And here is a picture of stupid Beeker just for fun!
Yep, he's cute, too.

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New Year's Resolutions...maybe?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Time to resolve to keeping my New Year's resolutions.  This statement would definitely not be said by me.  New Year's resolutions suck, especially for someone like me.  I have no will power whatsoever.  Setting unrealistic expectations of myself are always deemed a failure.

"This year I vow to eat better."  An hour later I'll be eating cookie dough straight from the bowl.  I'll still eat half a bag of York peppermint patties for breakfast on my way to work.  And I will no doubt order Jimmy John's for lunch at least twice a week.  Why give up now?

"This year I will forego swearing in place of more appropriate language."  No fucking way!  Swears fall from my mouth like diarrhea from a butt.  I'm pretty sure I can't live without the words, dipshit, asshat, assbag, and anything that has the word douche attached to it.  If I keep this resolution I will be living the life of a third grade teacher even at home.  It's hard enough to get my shit together for eight hours a day.  The expectation to maintain it at home just might kill me.

"This year I will sensor myself."  I have a serious habit of saying the first thing that comes into my head, not to mention asking questions no one really wants the answers to.  I also get annoyed easily and it tends to show on my face immediately.  But once again, I won't stick to this. It's part of my charm.  I probably owe an advance apology to my boss.  Beth—I'm sorry, you really aren't boring, I just have no attention span.

So, in saying all this, I set one resolution last year.  It was to finish my book and on October 16, 2012 I finally didn't fail at seeing one through to the end.  Here's the kicker, I told no one about this resolution.  Maybe that's the reason I completed.  As for 2013, I have already made one resolution—I will no longer spam my personal Facebook page with postings about my book or my writing.  In saying this, I have created a Facebook page solely dedicated to my book, so anyone who blocked my personal page, you can now unblock me.  You'll go back to getting my lame posts about food, my kids and my dog.  

If you get a chance please "like" my Facebook page.  I also need to give a big thank you to Natasha at Natasha is a Book Junkie for all her help so far.  She is wonderful and if you haven't checked out her blog you need to do that NOW!  If you love to read she is your go to gal!  She hasn't led me astray yet with her book recommendations. "Like" her Facebook page, I promise, you won't be disappointed. (She isn't paying me to promote her, I just like her.)

So, I've made two resolutions this year.  One I've said out loud and one I will keep to myself.  It seems like if I do, it just might work out in the end.  Happy New Year!

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