Hatin' on Snow...again

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

If you've read my previous post you know I hate snow.  But yesterday, snow and I became mortal enemies. Ok...if I'm being honest, I'm blaming snow because I'd never blame myself.

Here's how the day started, snow was supposed to start at 6:00am. So in preparation for a ridiculous commute, I crawled out of bed five minutes earlier than usual, only to find that snow, being the dick that he is, decided to sleep in...unlike me.

Snow finally made its appearance around 9:30am—right in the middle of math. Which is more fascinating, Mrs. Young and her witty comments on line plots or snow? I'll let you guess.

Driving home...not so bad, actually. Snow...we just might be friends after all. Feeling kinda smiley and a little ambitious, I decided to snow blow the driveway before BJ got home from work. How great of a wife am I? This is where snow screws with me.

I bundled up my nuggets, well, I bundled both but one stayed in the house because he's terrified of the snow blower. Big nugget goes off to roll around in the snow while I start up the snow blower. I dragged it from the garage, started it up and began to toss snow all over. It's kinda cool, until I realized I've knocked over a gas can in the garage. Yep, I spilled a gallon of gas all over the garage floor.

Big nugget comes along, persuaded me to make the biggest snowball ever, so I bailed on the gas spill. I returned later to find that the garage stunk REALLY bad and so did the whole house. I dumped some Tide on it, scrubbed it with a broom and threw a bucket of water on it. It's clean...but not really.

This is where BJ comes home. Here's the conversation:

Me: I spilled gas in the garage.

BJ: So I smell.

Me: It's not that bad. I opened all the windows.

BJ: It's 37 degrees out.

Me: What do you suggest?

BJ: I'm going to get kitty litter.

This is where BJ left and returned with kitty litter that smelled like an old lady's perfume. Gas or Jean Nate? Either way I'm getting a fucking headache.

Several hours passed and the house reeked of old lady and I couldn't handle it. Sitting on the couch watching a mass of DVR'd shows, I turned to BJ...

Me: I'm gonna need you to clean up the kitty litter.

BJ: (Insert annoyed look and a huffy breath.)

Me: Seriously. It smells.

BJ: (In mocking tone) I'm gonna need you to clean up the gas spill. I'm gonna need you to get kitty litter. I'm gonna need you to clean it up...now.

Me: I'm gonna need you to rub my boots in the kitty litter. I stepped in the gas.

I'm glad he loves me otherwise I might have found myself homeless. Although, none of this was my fault. Without the snow, I never would have knocked over the gas can.


2 Responses to “Hatin' on Snow...again”

  1. LOL. I hate snow too, who doesn't. ;) hehe I hate winter in particular. Out of all the seasons if we skipped on winter, would it hurt?

  2. I'm always plotting my escape from the midwest. Winter sucks!